Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize