Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
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Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
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Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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