btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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