living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
