You're a womanizer and a bitch.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
