Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize