So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
