Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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