Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
