That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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