before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
