Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
