I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
