i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
