Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
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We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
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