did you get engaged???
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
