I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
