Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
