one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize