Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
