Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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