one two three fourrrrnication!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
