It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
