break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
