Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
