yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
