This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
