Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
