just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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