So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
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