none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He kissed a someone with a penis
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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