i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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