Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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