You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
