My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"