Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.

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  (608): If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome. http://tfl.nu/khdb
  Replies (70) Good night (3936) Bad night (832)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??

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  (416): is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered?? http://tfl.nu/9big
  Replies (26) Good night (5437) Bad night (824)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.

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  (514): take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk. http://tfl.nu/mcib
  Replies (47) Good night (10142) Bad night (1323)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift

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  (319): You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift http://tfl.nu/3fcv
  Replies (20) Good night (4970) Bad night (692)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death

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  (317): He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death http://tfl.nu/foc2
  Replies (6) Good night (3469) Bad night (1112)
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  (310): View more from California

  If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is

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  (310): If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is http://tfl.nu/w3co
  Replies (9) Good night (4001) Bad night (1095)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage

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  (406): He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage http://tfl.nu/22pw
  Replies (8) Good night (3834) Bad night (1013)
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  (323): View more from California

  Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me

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  (323): Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me http://tfl.nu/3sp3
  Replies (13) Good night (4524) Bad night (1814)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.

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  (630): I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks. http://tfl.nu/bpzl
  Replies (3) Good night (1789) Bad night (571)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.

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  (201): I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe. http://tfl.nu/ihd3
  Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (823)
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  (714): View more from California

  Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?

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  (714): Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus? http://tfl.nu/oxq8
  Replies (5) Good night (666) Bad night (516)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  we need to invent and abuse teleportation

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  (204): we need to invent and abuse teleportation http://tfl.nu/6ayp
  Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (354)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.

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  (845): You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts. http://tfl.nu/ido5
  Replies (3) Good night (642) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.

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  (602): Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/3es2
  Replies (7) Good night (1001) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic

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  (802): The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic http://tfl.nu/lc5z
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (329)

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