Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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