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• (253): View more from Washington

  My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.

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• (914): View more from New York

  i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.

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• (631): View more from New York

  You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.

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• (585): View more from New York

  He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.

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• (760): View more from California

  Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"

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