Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off

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  (818): Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off http://tfl.nu/wsi1
  Replies (8) Good night (3241) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?

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  (541): In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it? http://tfl.nu/ati9
  Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work

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  (719): I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work http://tfl.nu/axgl
  Replies (14) Good night (3672) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

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  (267): I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" http://tfl.nu/lcyo
  Replies (27) Good night (1112) Bad night (5116)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."

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  (281): he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to." http://tfl.nu/qnhd
  Replies (16) Good night (1953) Bad night (5658)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.

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  (704): he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/oi0t
  Replies (26) Good night (9192) Bad night (1292)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight

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  (713): We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/owr2
  Replies (6) Good night (760) Bad night (4240)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.

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  (518): Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday. http://tfl.nu/c6q7
  Replies (13) Good night (3394) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.

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  (828): It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack. http://tfl.nu/89f8
  Replies (5) Good night (727) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  My liver just had a heart attack.

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  (714): My liver just had a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/xspi
  Replies (9) Good night (1234) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.

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  (254): Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst. http://tfl.nu/n2od
  Replies (9) Good night (1074) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.

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  (580): The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive. http://tfl.nu/8405
  Replies (7) Good night (1119) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.

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  (859): He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it. (859): The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders. http://tfl.nu/g672
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.

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  (609): I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack. http://tfl.nu/ai2z
  Replies (1) Good night (1358) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...

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  (306): so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night... http://tfl.nu/edce
  Replies (2) Good night (327) Bad night (549)

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