Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people

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  (614): If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people http://tfl.nu/avir
  Replies (19) Good night (4460) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was

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  (203): I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was http://tfl.nu/myop
  Replies (17) Good night (1197) Bad night (4542)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.

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  (703): She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself. http://tfl.nu/tn32
  Replies (17) Good night (4202) Bad night (1990)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.

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  (712): I just negotiated a blow job for an interview. http://tfl.nu/ow0d
  Replies (15) Good night (3773) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave

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  (614): All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave http://tfl.nu/wc16
  Replies (6) Good night (3249) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.

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  (407): Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season. http://tfl.nu/9ccu
  Replies (5) Good night (1491) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.

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  (812): I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more. http://tfl.nu/ty1z
  Replies (14) Good night (1449) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.

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  (559): I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me. http://tfl.nu/4goz
  Replies (7) Good night (1160) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.

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  (330): OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM. http://tfl.nu/cuq6
  Replies (15) Good night (2636) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire

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  (240): Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire http://tfl.nu/bhj4
  Replies (1) Good night (938) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You burned the hair off your arms. Again.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It grows back stronger each time.

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  (203): You burned the hair off your arms. Again. (860): It grows back stronger each time. http://tfl.nu/ybhf
  Replies (1) Good night (797) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.

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  (518): I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen. http://tfl.nu/2oin
  Replies (6) Good night (802) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.

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  (318): She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust. http://tfl.nu/o3wc
  Replies (4) Good night (743) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.

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  (907): I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused. http://tfl.nu/yzqj
  Replies (6) Good night (388) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera

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  (413): fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera http://tfl.nu/o2wd
  Replies (3) Good night (551) Bad night (262)

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