Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.

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  (480): So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that. http://tfl.nu/bec0
  Replies (12) Good night (1097) Bad night (2267)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.

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  (773): i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink. http://tfl.nu/eils
  Replies (25) Good night (3360) Bad night (542)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween

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  (978): Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween http://tfl.nu/fww2
  Replies (38) Good night (6273) Bad night (1228)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.

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  (309): I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking. http://tfl.nu/amrn
  Replies (5) Good night (4765) Bad night (915)
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  (914): View more from New York

  all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is

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  (914): all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is http://tfl.nu/2h7o
  Replies (6) Good night (5979) Bad night (765)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.

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  (715): He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now. http://tfl.nu/ppv0
  Replies (7) Good night (3086) Bad night (910)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.

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  (425): Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner. http://tfl.nu/26hb
  Replies (6) Good night (2684) Bad night (1151)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with

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  (804): have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with http://tfl.nu/vxai
  Replies (6) Good night (1724) Bad night (609)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?

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  (708): Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/sg75
  Replies (5) Good night (2110) Bad night (487)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...

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  (412): Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation... http://tfl.nu/ehdf
  Replies (4) Good night (1379) Bad night (505)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Birthday success

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  (479): I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick. (870): Birthday success http://tfl.nu/9sf8
  Replies (4) Good night (1370) Bad night (537)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.

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  (512): I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out. http://tfl.nu/qokz
  Replies (4) Good night (833) Bad night (594)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.

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  (309): My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage. http://tfl.nu/8smk
  Replies (3) Good night (1507) Bad night (350)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.

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  (226): We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose. http://tfl.nu/xde0
  Replies (5) Good night (656) Bad night (319)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.

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  (231): Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool. http://tfl.nu/mwvh
  Replies (13) Good night (331) Bad night (635)

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