The best revenge is premature balding
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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