Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
