are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize