I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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