I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
