dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
