Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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