I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i dont even know how to be here
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
