I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I need a burrito and a hug.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
