Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
