I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
