My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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