Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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