I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
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My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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