We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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