'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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