I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize