U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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