you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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