Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
