I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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