She went from zero to smokin in five shots
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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