she looked like the before picture.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize