were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Randomize
