I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
