Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
