I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
