I looked at my own cervix.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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